pukkallday

i went to scott’s show tonight. i was excited. i cleaned my whole house, pretty much for him. i wore my cutest outfit and spent extra time on my hair. it bounced when i danced. katie and kevin went with me. i was giggly.

i got there and scott was on stage. as he played the guitar, he looked like he was going to shit his pants. the saxaphone player was hot. some guy offered him a free drink and he actually excused himself from me to attain to the fact that someone was giving him something for free. he pranced me around backstage like a trophy. everyone stared at me, while i smiled (*twinkle) and waved. played it cool. we went out back to smoke a bowl (he was NOT quiet about this) and all of a sudden a bunch of guys from the band showed up. it was mildly awkward. he complained about having to go back on stage so soon. he walked out with me to get a drink and said he was out of drink tickets. “i’d buy you a drink, but…” and i said, “no, it’s cool. i got it.”

if i am fucking you, you should buy my shit. i’m just saying. it’s a courtesy. you’re a man. take care of your shit. stop waiting for a woman to come and pick up your shit for you. i’m not your fucking mother.

as the special guest went on stage (scott previously said he was awestruck by this guy), i can quickly equate him to the flavor flav of soul. he was wasted or stupid or …i don’t know. i couldn’t stop laughing.

here i am, standing in the middle of this hipster bar, drink in hand, looking cute as fuck, dancing and swaying, giggling and wondering what the FUCK i’m doing. i couldn’t stop laughing as I danced by myself at this fucking random bar with these random people.  i had a moment. then i split. fucking walked out of the bar, grabbed the first cab and fucking went home.

the sex was fucking amazing, but it’s not worth it for me. it’s a waste of time to pretend.

I texted him with, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to be a bitch but I had to go. You and your band are awesome and I’ve had a great time but I’m not ready for this.”

I also think I saw Charles there. :::crush:::

WTF. ahhhh.

*PERK- met a really nice cabbie!! cabs are convenient.

for the first time in a very long time, i am happy and intrigued and excited about my personal life. work is becoming more of, well, work. i guess that means that i’m finding value in other parts of my life. it’s a good thing.

i’m obsessed with my roommate because she lets me be 500% me. she doesn’t judge me even though i have some ridiculous tendencies.

sunday, i picked up a package on our front porch from matt chicago. aka a new fancy glass vibrator. i had been getting ass as of lately (plus i have two vibes already), so i just handed the whole package to her, as a gift, without opening it. meanwhile, i taught her some sexting tactics.

sunday, i also received a video message from a guy i met at a christmas party in december (nice guy, not interested). so this video message is basically him in front of the camera, telling me that i am a wonderful woman. he made a list of all the reasons and then told me about them. very sweet. i haven’t replied yet. i mean…how do i? let him down gently, i guess. poor thing.

last night was like the revolving door of boys. i’ve been talking to two guys, both whom i have met through the interweb. i am often confused with my own penchant for meeting people online. let’s be honest, i’ve been doing it since i was 15. that’s 11 years! holy crap.

rich came over at 7 briefly before a client dinner. and scott came over at 8. cut it a little close.

here’s the background. i met rich on this iphone app, skout. i had downloaded it per a recommendation from marie claire. rich lives in dc but works in atlanta a lot. he is tall, thin but fit, successful, athletic, confident and, i think, rich. he also has a dog in dc (his parents watch it when he is out of town), smokes, and is as horny as i am. we hadn’t met yet, but he showed up at my place last night, nicely dressed, perfectly calm and chill. i told him we had to hang out a few times before we fucked. so he hung out for 20 minutes, met the dogs, laughed with me, asked me questions. sitting on the bed, he made a couple moves to make out with me. at first i was hesitant, because well, scott was coming over later and i’d been sleeping with him. it felt like a betrayal to scott a little, but well…nothing was official with scott, so what was i worrying about? (other than him showing up early while i was making out with some other guy on my bed). i was impressed with rich. he came in as the underdog, but definitely had me intrigued.  he left and we made tentative plans to grab dinner. ahhh and he JUST texted me (“Have a great day! Good luck with work today. Your cute baby! xoxo”…which made me realize that i missed his text from 30 min ago, which was way more racy. haha) anyway, so yeah, we’re gonna hang out soon and definitely will be hooking up. he has also alluded to taking me on trips…

so then there is scott, (who accidentally called me about 20 min ago - haha), whom i met on craigslist. i know, i know. after a couple “just to fuck” craigslist guys who were great in bed, but not really longer term fwb material, i posted an ad that was honest and laid out what i was looking for, including as a not so subtle afterthought, the fact that i’m super sexual and want to both get to know someone, but have really good sex at the same time without the initial dating pressure or commitment. he was one of the first legit guys to respond. last week, we had dinner one night (he admitted that i was the first girl he’d ever met from the internet) and then had a doggie playdate the next. we made out, but no sex. he went out of town for the weekend and so did i. almost immediately upon my return, he came over and we had sex 3 times sunday night. we met up again monday night for 2 more. and last night for 2 more. great. stuff. he is 10 years older than me, plays in a band, has a dog, smokes and is super considerate. i am smitten a bit with him. and he clearly is with me. he has said that i inspire him and have made him start working out and eating better. (he’s not as athletic as i am. has a belly.) last night he came over about 30 min after rich left. we grabbed dinner at the whole foods hot bar (he’d never been!). he didn’t pay for my food…which is ok, but i guess i honestly was kind of expecting him to. he did buy us dessert and provided some smokey. the sex with him is fantastic. we vibe well, too. this is honestly the most substantial and longest lasting “relationship” i’ve had since dreamboat…and tj, too. i think tj lasted 3 weeks.

eesh…life is getting really fun…

…but let’s be honest. i can believe it. it’s not even surprising.

more surprising are the bruise hickeys on my chest. and how i brushed him off in the car as he drove me home. and how i actually made it home with my check card. and how i showed up [still drunk] at my work event, wearing my makeup from the night before. and how my work laptop is infected with some sort of virus because i’ve been watching porn on it.

a whole bunch of awesomeness today.